


Swimming with Infinity's Symmetry

by goodnightfern (orphan_account)



Series: Edifying Discourses in Diverse Spirits [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, Angst about Parenting, Bukkake, Christmas, Coprophilia, Daddy Kink, Fisting, I'm not kidding about the coprophilia, Lactation Kink, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Male Lactation, Mpreg, Omega Dean, Pony Play, Pregnant Dean, Puppy Play, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Rimming, Whipping, cliffhanger ending, dadstiel, dom Cas, read with caution, they say oh my god a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 04:13:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6838597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/goodnightfern
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was no room at the inn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swimming with Infinity's Symmetry

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the classic collab between J Dilla and Madlib, ["Strip Club"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jr4Vxy2hQws)

Just as they're pulling into the motel parking lot, the red neon "No" light blinks on. Dean groans from the passenger seat. This is the third No Vacancy sign of the night. Cas reaches over to rub at his pregnant Omega's belly. 

Already Cas has enough shit on his plate. A male Omega getting pregnant is rare enough. Dean isn't even lactating as he should be. As an angel, Cas knows Dean's body down to the molecules. All human males have tiny mammary glands. There were options of hormone shots, surgery, all kinds of invasive shit to induce lactation. 

As an Alpha, Cas has to protect both his husband and his baby. 

He gives the pump attached to Dean's nipple another squeeze. 

Enough manual stimulation and something's got to give. 

Enough motels and something's got to give. 

But it's already three in the morning, they've been trying to find a place all night, and there's no room in the inns. Dean sighs, legs spread wide to accommodate his pregnant belly, and takes another bite of ice cream. Already his eyes are drifting shut, but then he twitches and shudders to force himself awake. Fuck, but Cas feels like the worst Alpha ever. It's Christmas Eve - no, technically Christmas - and his Omega is eight months pregnant and he can't even find a damn room for the night.

The Fairyland Acres motel still claims vacancy. But when Castiel gets up to the counter, the woman behind the counter just shakes her head. 

"You don't understand," Cas pleads. "My Omega is in the car. He's eight months pregnant."

The woman's brows nearly disappear into her curly mop of hair. "A pregnant male Omega?"

"It's a Christmas miracle," Castiel says snidely. "We need a place to sleep."

"Alright, I'll cut you a deal. You guys can sleep in the stable."

"Stable?"

"Yeah, we have a stable. For pony rides and petting zoos and shit. It's a whole thing."

"Whatever. I'll take it."

The stable reeks of pony shit. Cas carries Dean bridal style and sets him down in a feeding trough laden with hay. Dean doesn't even care, he's so tired. Cas kisses his forehead, his cheeks, his lips. 

"Mmm, Cas..."

"Do you want to....?"

"Hell yeah. Put me to sleep, Alpha."

Already slick is dampening the straw. Careful of his pregnant belly, Cas removes the lactation pump and laps at Dean's nipples. No milk yet. He sucks harder, bites, relishing Dean's yelps of pleasure, then moves down his body. Before he sucks Dean's dick, he presses kisses all over the swell of belly. "Mmm, my good boy," Cas whispers. "Full of my pup. My good doggy, perfect little wife. Whose your Daddy, little puppy?"

"You're my daddy," Dean whispers. "You're the daddy." 

That's it. Cas is gonna fuck the shit outta Dean. They go at it all over the goddamn stable while the ponies watch. Cas eats ass like there is no tomorrow, like he got the thirst of a hundred years in the desert or something. He orders Dean on his knees, makes him choke on his fat Alpha cock, but Cas still isn't done. Fortunately there's some pony ride equipment in the barn. So he can put a harness on Dean and slap his ass red with a riding crop while his puppy moans. 

"Oh, what's that, puppy? You want me to fuck you?" Cas asks as he lays on the crop.

"Y-y-yes please," Dean cries.

"What's that?" Cas flips the riding crop around and circles Dean's ass with it. "Hold on a sec, baby. Get on your back. You're too pregnant for this." 

"Yeah, you're right. Pheewww." Dean rolls over, moaning as his back finds the support he needs. "Okay. Where were we? Um... yes, please, Daddy."

"Hell yeah. I mean, you're gonna have to earn it, bitch." 

"Have I been a bad dog?"

"So bad. Now I'm gonna fuck your face again," Cas says, and so he does. Not for too long. Soon enough he's back at Dean's sweet lil Omega ass, lapping at the slick. Dean nearly comes when he starts to finger him. In order for his giant cock to fit, Cas has to totally fist Dean. He's got half his damn arm up there.

"Daddy, please!" Dean screams. "Fuck me hard, Daddy!"

"Good puppy," Cas breathes, and jams it in. He fucks Dean for ages. The ponies look scared. Alarms go off, glass breaks. Finally he comes inside of Dean, bukkakes the hell out of his pretty pup's insides. Dean screams for his Daddy and Cas bites him on the neck, right over the mating bite scar. Good stuff. After his knot recedes they still lie curled up together, Dean wallowing in his Alpha's love. "Merry Christmas, baby," Cas says.

"Mmm? Is it Christmas already?" 

"Yeah." Cas suddenly laughs. "Wouldn't it be crazy if the baby came tonight? I mean, this is totally like the first Christmas."

"Is that a real story?"

"It's a real myth," Cas shrugs. He isn't an angel or anything, how would he know? It just came to mind. He's sleeping in the stable with his pregnant Omega, because there was no room in the inn. Honestly, he's always seen the New Testament as more of a fairy tale than anything else. 

"Oh my god," Dean says suddenly. "Cas... I think... I think the baby is coming!"

"What?" Pulling himself from Dean's arms, Cas sits up in the manger. (they were fucking in the manger). "Oh my god. Oh holy shit. Ohh my god. Come on, I'm gonna take you to the hospital."

"No time," Dean gasps. "It's coming. Now."

"What a miracle. Our baby is coming on Christmas day."

"I know, right? Aw, shit!" Grimacing, a spasm rips through Dean. He pulls himself upright, in the proper squatting position recommended by the doula. Tears spring to his eyes and also to Castiel's eyes because he's so in love and ready for this magical moment. Dean screams and he holds his husbands hand. The ponies are freaking out. A star streaks by overhead. Comets and shit blowing up to mark this special day. Cas is sobbing while Dean clutches his arms, moaning. It's so beautiful. Lightning crashes as the new mother cries, and Cas is suddenly overwhelmed with awe. On this day two thousand and sixteen years ago, another young couple went through the same thing. Time is a circle, he thinks. Everything that has happened will happen again, spiralling in and out and it's just. God Damn. This moment represents a paradigm shift. The Earth is aligned with the black hole at the center of the galaxy and here he is with Dean, bringing a new life into the world at the center of it all. Sometime later Cas is going to have to take some acid and think about it all. 

And then, quite suddenly, it's all over.

"Huh. That was fast," says Dean.

"What's that smell?" Cas wonders. "The placenta?" He's read that it's good for mothers to eat the placenta. How the hell is he gonna cook a placenta in a stable? 

"Oh. Oh my god," Dean says, voice very small. 

"Dean? Dean, what's wrong?"

"Just... look. Wait - don't -"

It's too late. 

Cas stares down at the baby. Well, it's not a baby. What it is the biggest shit he's ever seen in his life. It must be two feet long at the least. He's always known Dean had an impressive colon, but... wow. Wow.

"I was never pregnant after all. I just had to take a big dump."

"I literally fucked the shit out of you, Dean."

Dean laughs. Cas laughs. They smile at each other all sappy and doe-eyed. 

Right. Cas had something in the car. It was supposed to be a gift for the new baby. He's had it hidden in the trunk, waiting to whip it out at the right moment. The tulle fairy wings are white and sparkly, and the little halo tiara is studded in swarovski crystals. Wiping tears - perhaps of joy, perhaps of despair - from his eyes, Castiel goes back in the stable and sticks the wings and the tiara on top of the shit. 

"Happy birthday, my child," he says. "I'm going to name you... Baby Jesus."

"Don't name my friggin' poop."

"No! I like Baby Jesus. Come on, Dean. It's funny. This shit's going on Snapchat."

Dean sighs, looking around for a manure fork. Maybe he can just mix it with the pony shit. "Honestly? I'm kind of glad. I don't know if I'm emotionally ready to be a father." Dean shakes his head at the ridiculous baby fairy outfit. "But man, look at you. You were all ready for this."

"I was."

"I'm so sorry, Cas," Dean whispers, resting his forehead on his husband's shoulder. "I know how much this meant to you."

"It's okay, Dean. Maybe cis men just can't get pregnant."

"Or lactate," Dean adds.

"Are you sure?"

Dean looks down at his nipples. They're all red from the clamp, but... yep, it almost looks like they're jizzing. Cas leans forward, rapt, and then simply wraps his mouth around and starts to suck. "Wow. Cas. That's uh...."

Cas rips his mouth off the nipple for a moment. "Super fucking hot?" 

"You kinky bastard," Dean says affectionately. He runs his hands through Castiel's thick hair. But he has a question brimming, something he's afraid to ask. "Hey... Cas?"

"Mmm?"

"Can... can you call me Mommy?"

**Author's Note:**

> if i cant troll the destiel ao3 feed with my [coldest hit entries](http://spncoldesthits.tumblr.com/) then what is the point of life tbh


End file.
